Sunday, 14 December 2014

website, novel publication, etc.

i finally updated my website

i'm going to be reading a bit from my novel, In Real Life, at Literary Death Match on Monday the 15th of December in London, and at Zach Roddis' launch for Tourism on Thursday the 18th of December in Salford. 

my novel is being published on Jan 15th, 2015. here's the Canongate page for it

Thursday, 19 December 2013

Friday, 13 December 2013


I think my favourite part in The Anthologist is either the part where Paul Chowder writes about how great and talented and unsung the writers of Friends are, or the bit when he talks about cutting off an imaginary ponytail and burying it in his garden. I feel like those bits are pretty close together in the book, maybe in the same chapter. I don't know where my copy of The Anthologist is. (I suspect it is most probably on the bookcase in the hall nearest to the door to this room which is, at most, five metres away from where I'm sitting now.)

I think I read somewhere that Nicholson Baker (see picture above) wrote The Anthologist by dressing up as Paul Chowder and filming himself doing improvised monologues to video camera. I hope I haven't imagined that. 

Also: Hey, look, I finally went uppercase. 

Thursday, 12 December 2013


i still can't remember what it was.

oh well.

here is a picture of what i look like right now, not remembering what it was:

serious question: do i look like i'm going bald in the picture?

94% of the time - walking around, going in supermarkets, using the internet, etc - i feel like i'm going bald, very, very slowly.

the other 6% of the time - walking around, standing at the self checkout, plugging my laptop into the wall, etc - i'm just not thinking about it i guess.

my lip looks pretty dry in the picture. (don't worry. i've since moistened it.)

i didn't get up at 4:30am this morning.

i've not shaved in about a week.

i am wearing a fleece made out of recycled plastic bottles + no slippers. 

Nicholson Baker

Wednesday, 11 December 2013

hi again

i feel like there was something else i wanted to blog about.

(i can't quite remember what it is.)

maybe if i keep typing, i'll remember what it is.

i wonder when i'm going to 'go uppercase'.

maybe it will be at some point during this blogpost.

i wonder if Nicholson Baker has a blog.


i just googled it.

he doesn't even have an official website, outside of a Simon and Schuster one, a University of [Something] one, and a fan page.

update: the fan page is pretty good.

i guess Box of Matches was kind of like a blog.

i wonder what would happen if i started getting up at 4:30am.

i wonder what would happen if i grew my beard out 'all the way' (does it stop growing at some point?).

i wonder what it was i wanted to blog about.

Tuesday, 10 December 2013

the future, pt. 2

hi again.

my story 'A Short Guide to the Future' (as mentioned in the post below) is now available to download for free here.

also, Wizard's Way, a film i helped make, is going to be screened at the Slamdance film festival in Utah, America, in January 2014.

are you a person who lives in Utah, America? do you have anything planned for January 17th-23rd, 2014? if not, why not go along? (i wish i could.)

i looked at that 'year in review, 2013' thing on Facebook earlier this morning. it doesn't list anything that i've done since about August.

i wonder what i did during September/October/November.

one thing i did was listen to the song 'Always On My Mind' by the Pet Shop Boys about 25 times.

another thing i did was [can't think of anything].


hope everyone has a good Xmas/New Year/etc.

Thursday, 7 November 2013

the future

i wrote and performed a thing called 'A Short Guide to the Future' last month. it was a short story + video/sound/tinfoil.

here is a picture someone took of me while i was reading it:

next time i'm doing something, i will try to put it on here before i do it instead of afterwards.

okay, here is a thing that's happening in the future:

Canongate are publishing my second novel, In Real Life, in Spring 2015.

seems a long way away.

going to try and keep busy by eating lots of vegetables, doing exercise, walking around, etc. also maybe writing some more short stories and things.

serious question: have i 'forfeited' my chance of being published in Granta/The New Yorker/etc via writing shit in lowercase on here for ~4 years? and do you think my chances of being published in Granta/The New Yorker/etc might improve if i went back and meticulously rewrote everything in 'not lowercase'? also: guess i need to write some short stories first.