Tuesday, 10 July 2007

52: The Turtle

Helen has a whip. She cracks the whip. She says that basically I must get all the fruit and vegetables off the shop floor or she will whip me. She says it is basically a management technique. She asks me if I have seen The Apprentice. I shake my head. She says she likes The Badger. I say I don’t know what that means. Helen says she would basically like me from now on to refer to her as The Turtle. I nod. She says, start working.

I start working.

Call me The Turtle, she says. Quickly, she says.

Okay, I say. The Turtle.

After a few minutes I look around. The Turtle has gone. I pause for a second. I put my hand against my forehead and close my eyes. The Philippines.

Crack.

The whip lashes my back.

Ow, I say.

Crack.

Ow.

The Philippines.

Crack.

Ow.

Nothing.

I start working again.

2 comments:

G said...

The turtle is just brilliant. Laughed my head off. Good man.
gina

chris killen said...

hey. thanks. i am now basically 'taking requests'. if there is anything you basically want to happen re: the turtle, let me know and i will basically try and work it in if i can.