Sunday, 22 July 2007

64: peach fountain

I try and arrange the peaches on the shop floor. The Turtle hovers ten metres behind me at all times. I work quickly, making the tower of peaches into a sort of triangular-shaped thing.

No, says The Turtle.

Then I make the peaches into a sort of circular-shaped thing.

No, says The Turtle.

I start making the peaches into a sort of cross between a knee-shaped thing and a Philippines-shaped thing when The Turtle says, Hold it. Basically hold it right there.

I stop.

Follow me, she says.

I follow The Turtle off the shop floor and up the stairs and up another flight of stairs and into a small room which smells like old wigs. There is one chair in the room. A projector. The Turtle stands next to the projector.

Sit down, says The Turtle.

I sit down.

She turns on the projector. It projects a picture onto the wall. The picture is of the entrance to the Arndale Centre.

Now watch closely, says The Turtle.

I watch closely as she plays a slideshow of the Arndale Centre, and then the Thorntons in the Arndale Centre, then the chocolate fountain in the Thorntons.

She plays about a hundred slides.

Some are extreme close-ups, so extreme you do not know what you are looking at.

See? she says, occasionally. See what we are basically up against? Those Thorntons. Those fuckwits.

Sometimes she cracks her whip at the picture projected on the wall.

When the slideshow is over, The Turtle looks at me for a long time.

Now do you see what I’m getting at? she says.

I nod my head.

I wish I understood even 16% of what she is getting at.

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