Thursday, 9 August 2007

82: fired

I go to the staff room and get my mobile out of my jacket.

I call the replenishment assistants.

They are all out together, having a nice lie down in the park.

I tell them I have a replenishment emergency.

Oh, they say. That’s too bad.

I tell them I will get the sack if I don’t somehow get all the fruit and vegetables out of the store room and onto the shop floor.

That’s awful, they say.

I ask them if they will come in and help.

Sorry, they say.

I tell them it’s their duty as replenishment assistants to help a fellow worker. I also tell them that I have the power, as replenishment supervisor, to fire them if they don’t come in. (This is a lie.)

So, are you coming in or what? I say.

We’re not coming in, they say.

I fire the replenishment assistants.

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