97: thank you x 100

Carmella writes me down her address in the Philippines.

I put the piece of paper in my pocket.

They wave me off from the doorway.

I say ‘thank you’ about 100 times between standing up from the table and putting on my coat.

I am still saying ‘thank you’ walking backwards out of the drive, waving at them.

I am still saying it walking down the road, once they’ve gone back inside.

It is dark.

I try and write Carmella a letter in my head:

Dear Carmella,

Thank you for dinner. Thank you. Please tell your tita thank you, too.

Also, thank you for helping me start smoking again.

How have you been since I walked down the drive?

I hope you’re okay and having a nice rest of your evening.

Yours sincerely,

_____

I screw up the letter in my head and throw it away.