Saturday, 20 October 2007

Brandon Scott Gorrell

Brandon Scott Gorrell has written a Cat Boat story about the cat Brandon Scott Gorrell. thank you, Brandon Scott Gorrell.

here is Brandon Scott Gorrell's Brandon Scott Gorrell story:

brandon wakes up
brandon has a feeling it's 3:30 AM
brandon looks at his cell phone
3:34 AM
brandon lies on his back and tries to see the ceiling
brandon turns his space heater off
brandon wonders if he's tired
brandon thinks he's not tired anymore
brandon wants to be tired
brandon turns on his side
brandon closes his eyes and tries to think 'zero' repeatedly
brandon can't decide on whether to think 'zero' or '0' repeatedly and keeps alternating between the two
brandon tries to visualize '0' but can only slightly visualize 'zero' and starts seeing exploding things on the back of his eyelids
brandon thinks 'z bottle'
brandon thinks 'gigantic cosmonaut awry in zombie cage'
brandon thinks 'massive planet rotation and earth people'
brandon keeps thinking in non sequiturs
brandon squeezes his eyes shut and tries to think 'zero' repeatedly
brandon immediately becomes distracted by the question 'why can't i think zero repeatedly?
brandon wonders what is wrong with him
brandon wonders why he can't concentrate on a thought for more than 10 - 15 seconds
brandon wonders if this is normal
brandon wonders how people meditate
brandon wonders if meditation is like thinking 'zero' repeatedly for a very long time
brandon wonders if that is only ignoring your problems
brandon wonders what meditation is
brandon turns on his side
brandon takes deep breaths
brandon lies on his back
brandon sits up
brandon's cell phone vibrates and beeps
brandon looks at his cell phone
a new picture message
brandon stares at it
3:47 AM
brandon looks at some old picture messages
brandon looks at his computer
the computer is on the floor, closed and silent
the computer is there
brandon's looking at the computer
brandon doesn't know what to do
the computer is there
brandon looks at the computer
brandon lies down on his back
brandon closes his eyes
brandon thinks about work
brandon tries to see things on the back of his eyelids
brandon sees slightly holographic colored dots and lines on the back of his eyelids but nothing very interesting
sometimes brandon can see anything he wants on the back of his eyelids
brandon turns to his side
brandon looks at his wall
brandon thinks about zero
brandon wonders if repeating 'nothing' would help him make his mind blank, as opposed to 'zero' or '0'
brandon wonders if thinking 'zero' or '0' is superficially distracting because when he thinks those repeatedly, he often visualizes the word 'zero' or the number 'o'
if brandon is visualizing something then he is still thinking something
brandon wants to not think anything for just 10 seconds
just 2 seconds even
brandon fantasizes about a blank mind
brandon sits up
his laptop is on the ground
there are 4 hours until he has to go to work
what will brandon do for 4 hours
brandon thinks about editing the novel
brandon hates the novel and doesn't want to edit it
brandon thinks about the online literary world
brandon reaches for the laptop and takes it with his hands
brandon opens the laptop
the light from the screen hurts his eyes and he looks away
4:05 AM
brandon has a little headache
brandon wonders why he's awake
brandon connects to the wireless network
brandon checks gmail
no emails
brandon considers signing in to gchat
brandon feels anxious
brandon feels embarrassed about not being able to sleep
brandon signs into gmail chat and no one is online and he immediately signs out of gmail chat
brandon checks myspace
there are no new comments or messages or friend requests
there is a new event invitation
brandon hates new event invitations, he wish they didn't exist
brandon has never once checked an event invitation
brandon looks at his bulletin board
brandon feels angry at the people that post at least one bulletin a day
brandon has been considering taking those people off his friend list for about a month now
brandon thinks this is logical because in real life he generally only feels comfortable around quiet, reserved, non-blathering people
not hyper people that feel the need to scream their names at 200 online contacts multiple times a day
brandon checks facebook
nothing ever really happens on facebook
somone body slammed brandon on facebook
brandon looks at statcounter
five people have checked his blog
they are all return visitors
he knows who they are
brandon thinks about them
brandon stares at the computer screen
brandon looks at his cell phone
4:12 AM
brandon has checked all his websites and thinks that it's 4:12 AM and his day is already over
brandon looks at his bookmarks
brandon looks at titles of the blogs in his bookmarks
brandon feels anxiety
brandon feels bad for feeling uninterested in other people's blogs and stops looking at his bookmarks
brandon goes to gmail
brandon reads a poem he sent to juked
brandon reads it too fast
brandon tries to read it slower
brandon can't read it slower
the poem is ruined for him and now it is shit
brandon reads two other poems he sent to juked
brandon wonders why he sent those poems to juked
brandon opens a word document
it's a story
brandon feels compassion when he reads this story
brandon begins reading the story and thinks the language is awkward and verbose
brandon continues reading the story and he's reading it too fast
brandon keeps skipping sentences
brandon wonders if the story is good or bad
brandon reads the part of the story he likes very slowly
brandon reads that part four times
brandon looks at the words in that part
brandon likes those words
brandon thinks the story is good
brandon wonders if the only reason he thinks the story is good is because he only likes the one part of the story so much
brandon goes to pindeldyboz
brandon looks at their submission guidelines
brandon opens gmail
brandon clicks compose
brandon copy and pastes an email address from the pindeldyboz submission guideline page
brandon types in the subject line
brandon feels anxious about a third person bio
brandon types a third person bio as fast as possible
brandon copy and pastes the story into the email
brandon looks at the email
brandon sends the story to pindeldyboz
that was the first time brandon ever sent something to them and ever even looked at their website
brandon thinks submission guidelines are usually pretentious and make the editors sound like a bunch of uptight assholes who he wouldn't want to be friends with
brandon often feels like a little child begging for candy when he reads submission guidelines
this is not true for all submission guidelines
brandon has lost any hope he had for getting back to sleep
brandon is wide awake now
4:47 AM
brandon minimizes and maximizes mozilla firefox repeatedly
brandon considers going for a walk or something
brandon has never gone for a walk when he couldn't sleep
brandon has never done anything except look at a computer screen when he couldn't sleep

1 comment:

Hullaballoo said...

I loved your post, made me giggle.