Monday, 25 February 2008

'marathon' blurbing session

Shane Jones emailed me his novel Light Boxes a few weeks ago. so far i've only looked at this novel once on 'print preview' and once by scrolling down some of it and looking at a few of the words. but i plan to print it out and read it sometime this week. i emailed Shane Jones my novel, too, this evening.

here are some early blurbs for our novels:

"LIGHT BOXES by Shane Jones is the best new novel by a young American author that i was sent by email and haven't read yet" -- Chris Killen

"The Bird Room, a debut novel by Chris Killen is 358K when sent through gmail. That's the longest file I've ever seen and the best debut novel in years." -Shane Jones

"i think LIGHT BOXES by Shane Jones is about 18,000 words. i opened it in word just after he sent it to me, and just looked at the word count and then closed it again." -- Chris Killen

"The Bird Room by Chris Killen will keep you guessing. Do you read such a large file on the computer or print it out which will take an hour and lots of paper. The Bird Room could possibly be a mystery thriller." -Shane Jones

"i have the strange fear that LIGHT BOXES by Shane Jones is not called LIGHT BOXES but something very similar and i am typing LIGHT BOXES and Shane Jones is too polite to tell me that it is not called that" -- Chris Killen

"I will never finish The Bird Room by Chris Killen. It looks long and has something called "helen chapter breaks." His work is not accesible. I will lie to Chris Killen and tell him I loved his novel in two weeks time." - Shane Jones

"i am clicking between the song 'Rene and Georgette Magritte with their dog after the war' by Paul Simon and 'Feather of Forgiveness' by Polvo'; i keep listening to those two songs, one after the other. i will do that until i go to sleep tonight, and then tomorrow i will wake up and use 86 pages of blank paper to print out LIGHT BOXES by Shane Jones and then read it. i will probably read it in one sitting after 'sitting on it' for about a month." -- Chris Killen

"Chris Killen will need 122 pages to print out Light Boxes. I will need 290 for The Bird Room. This is unfair. Paper is expensive in America. Chris Killen has no concept of the world outside his blurbing. Chris Killen is stuck inside a blurb and so am I." -Shane Jones

"i feel confused. in English formatting, my novel is 160 pages. Shane Jones, author of LIGHT BOXES, must live in a country with really small paper. read his novel. i haven't yet, but other people probably have and i am sure they will tell you it is a good novel." -- Chris Killen

"Both Light Boxes and The Bird Room are horrible novels. Both Chris Killen and Shane Jones will be 35 years old, working at a bookstore, when their novels will show up in the bargain bins with one of these ridiculous blurbs." -Shane Jones

"i am going to phone my parents and wake them up (it is 12:40am UK time) and read them some of LIGHT BOXES down the phone until they hang up on me. i haven't read LIGHT BOXES yet, but i am convinced of Shane Jones' 'calibre' and i'm sure my parents will be too, and probably won't hang up on me at all and i will read the whole thing to them and by the end of it, i will be very dehydrated and tired and will have 'racked up' a massive phone bill." -- Chris Killen

"Shane Jones has a girlfriend who is mad at him for blurbing on gmail chat for so long. She is currently making fun of him." -Shane Jones

"cats, small birds, moustaches. LIGHT BOXES." -- Chris Killen

here is a picture of Shane Jones, destroyed, after our blurbing session.
(the session lasted from 00:26 until 00:48 UK time. Shane Jones is a 'lightweight'.)


apants said...

These are all really good blurbs. You have nice friends.

site said...

I think everybody ought to browse on it.