Tuesday, 4 March 2008

guest post by Gina Perry:

The day I saw Chris Killen and it wasn't Chris Killen but someone else just like him, but actually saved his life (and mine) by it not being Chris Killen


He emerged, Chris Killen, from a side road, next to the row of shops opposite central library. He was walking in a 'purposeful way' that he might do if he was on the way to work, and he
had the same hair and same glasses and everything.

So I said, 'Chris Killen'. I used his full proper name, just like you have to when you see someone who was in the same class as you at secondary school when you're in the pub on Christmas eve, and you're drunk and your eyes don't work properly, but you know you know them so you have use their 'proper name' because it's not possible to use just their Christian name. I really said 'Chris Killen' like that because it was using a little bit of 'irony' for which I hoped that Chris Killen would congratulate me for when we met on the platform bit of the tram stop at St Peter's square.

But at the same moment I said 'Chris Killen' I realised it wasn't Chris Killen despite the hair and the glasses and the long black coat that I didn't realise was actually almost identical to his coat. (I now know that is actually almost identical because the real Chris Killen demonstrated the identicalness of his coat at the pub some weeks later and it matched my memory of the fake Chris Killen's coat. This is what The Sun newspaper might call 'a chilling moment of realisation'). After I said 'Chris Killen' out loud I could hear it echoing in my head for a little while – I tried very hard to get back the words 'Chris Killen' because it was not the Chris Killen and I was starting to feel embarrassed, and in case the fake Chris Killen looked at me and wondered why I was saying 'Chris Killen' to him when he was really called 'Gerald Watley' or 'Rodrick Zimmer'*. Anyway it didn't matter what his name was because the real Chris Killen was in bed at that exact moment. I know this because I texted the real Chris Killen afterwards who was surprised, amused and excited by my mini-adventure and indicated that he wished he had been there to see his doppelganger.

But lucky for me it wasn't the real Chris Killen because if it he had been, it would have resulted in a global melt down. I know this because I looked it up on 'unexplained mysteries' and it says, in no uncertain terms that 'if two [doppelgangers] should meet, then they will both perish.' It also says that 'If the [real] person is good, then the Doppelganger will be evil and vice versa.' So I'm very glad that fake Chris Killen didn't stop to talk to me because he may have been 'walked purposefully' towards me and put his cigarette out in my eye (and if the real Chris Killen had been there they would have both spontaneously combusted...I'm also ignoring Wikipedia's entry that says it's a bad omen)

So this is a general warning, to Chris Killen (and to Chris Killen doppelganger hunters) to avoid St Peter's Square tram stop at 9.45am on Friday mornings because, Chris Killen, you'll either perish at the hands of the fake Chris Killen, or be really disappointed that he doesn't look half as much like you as I thought.


* These were names generated on the random name generator.

Jenn, i am not intentionally copying you, like i did with your selling stories for things project. this was submitted 'unsolicited'. thanks, Gina.

5 comments:

Jenn said...

Grrr.

I am off looking for my whip right now.

Although that is a good post. Good Work Gina.

emily mcphillips said...

i like this.
i feel like i know that kind of embarrassment too well. yet often when i wave at people i think i know, then who it turns out i don't know, they will wave back, and then i am confused even more.
i feel a little confused right now.
moop.

xtx said...

i like it too.

there is something going on in my life like this, but reversed, in that, an older woman who works in the produce department where i shop thinks I am someone she knows and greets me as such. She asks me questions that aren't about my life, but I respond like they are....hoping I give her correct answers.

i do not know her and try to avoid her at all costs.

apants said...

This was funny, interesting, AND educational! I never knew so many things about doppelgangers and I was excited to hear about the name randomizer. Great job Gina!

G said...

Thank you :)
Perhaps we should wait for this impostor one morning and ask him questions about his life and see if responds like they are...
Here is the random name generator that I used: http://www.xtra-rant.com/gennames/ (weirdly you can specify a name here, which strikes me as not very random at all)