Friday, 7 March 2008

outline for Dean Gaffney - The Musical


click here for scene one



Scene Two:

Dean Gaffney is wearing a dog costume.
Dean Gaffney has successfully conned the casting directors of Eastenders.
Dean Gaffney is about to sign a contract for an eleven-year stint on Eastenders (as the dog Wellard).
Someone throws Dean Gaffney a pen to sign the contract.
Dean Gaffney runs for the pen and catches it in his teeth.
The people on stage -- accountants, the producer, etc. -- sing the song 'Money, Money, Money'.
Dean Gaffney stands on his hind legs and barks along.
Dean Gaffney signs the contract.


Scene Three (dream sequence):

Dean Gaffney curls into a ball and licks his tail.
Dean Gaffney falls asleep.
Pink dry ice is blown onto the stage.
A bunch of glamour models run onto the stage in bikinis.
The glamour models dance around the sleeping Dean Gaffney, singing the song 'Wake up, Dean'.
Dean Gaffney wakes up.
Dean Gaffney tears off his dog costume to reveal a sequin tuxedo.
Someone throws Dean Gaffney a cane from offstage.
Dean Gaffney sings the song, 'I am the new king of Eastenders: I am going to use my fame in Eastenders to bed beautiful women like Jordan, Michelle Daniels, Katie Weale, and Alicia Douvall'.
The song is suddenly interrupted by the other cast members of Eastenders walking on stage.
The dry ice and glamour models disappear.
Dean Gaffney is discovered to be a man.

(if you are not from England and wondering who Dean Gaffney is, click here)

3 comments:

Fat Roland said...

Theme tune: "Gaff! Ah-aah! Saviour of the universe."

Ben Myers said...

Would you believe me if I said I was working on a piece called 'A Right Old Blimmin' Tear Up: The Life & Times Of Danny Dyer, Genius Actor Genius'?

Socrates Adams-Florou said...

I wanted a simple kiss from deangaffney.