Thursday, 17 April 2008

despondency


[reposted from Chicken and Pies by Socrates Adams-Florou:]

I am wiped out and tired. It has been one of those long days at home that I hate. There has been raining and sleeting. The patterns are squashed against my windows. One of those long days at home and alone that I hate. There is very little light now in my flat; my sofa feels dull, it supports my wait. There is no sound in my flat. I am feeling just awful. My nose is running. I hear a noise that sounds like a scratching. In the corner of my floor there is a black garden beetle. Why is it in my flat? My flat is on the sixth floor of a building. There are no gardens anywhere near my flat. The beetle is very big for a beetle, I have never seen a beetle as big as this beetle. Its back is shining. I feel as though the beetle is going to start speaking to me any second. One second later the beetle starts to speak to me. It has a high pitched voice and is terrifying. It says, "You are boring. Why are you so boring, little man? You have never done anything that is worthwhile. You are a lazy and fat little man of no worth." The beetle is right. That is one clever beetle. "You don't have any hope. I hate you little man. Nothing you do has ever been good. Why don't you say something back to me little man?" The beetle's words are seriously hurting my feelings. I feel animosity towards the beetle. I look at the window and the rain, and the grey light. "Waster. You are a waster." I tread on the beetle and sit back down.

7 comments:

xtx said...

I also like Chicken and Pies, you should read it.

"I am wiped out and tired. It has been one of those long days at home that I hate. There has been raining and sleeting. The patterns are squashed against my windows. One of those long days at home and alone that I hate. There is very little light now in my flat; my sofa feels dull, it supports my wait. There is no sound in my flat. I am feeling just awful. My nose is running. I hear a noise that sounds like a scratching. In the corner of my floor there is a black garden beetle. Why is it in my flat? My flat is on the sixth floor of a building. There are no gardens anywhere near my flat. The beetle is very big for a beetle, I have never seen a beetle as big as this beetle. Its back is shining. I feel as though the beetle is going to start speaking to me any second. One second later the beetle starts to speak to me. It has a high pitched voice and is terrifying. It says, "You are boring. Why are you so boring, little man? You have never done anything that is worthwhile. You are a lazy and fat little man of no worth." The beetle is right. That is one clever beetle. "You don't have any hope. I hate you little man. Nothing you do has ever been good. Why don't you say something back to me little man?" The beetle's words are seriously hurting my feelings. I feel animosity towards the beetle. I look at the window and the rain, and the grey light. "Waster. You are a waster." I tread on the beetle and sit back down."

Posted by xtx at 18:08:

chris killen said...

i think everyone reading this who has a blog should repost this on their blog.

apants said...

I was just going to come here and complain that I ALREADY READ THIS on chicken and pies but maybe now I have to post it on my blog. I am overdue. Also the last thing I posted on my blog was the disco dancing video so maybe from now on I just post what So-crates posts. He better start writing more shit though. My peoples need me to post shit all the fuckin' time.

Sara said...

I read your blog. I like your blog. I get the feeling that you are in some cool literary gang that I am no part of. It can make me feel like an outsider. Or I can choose to dismiss those feelings as nothing more than my usual paranoia. I do not know Chicken and Pies, I am however quite obedient. I will repost the beetle story on my blog. A similar thing happened to me when I spotted a ladybird on my pillow. It freaked me out. I did not squash it. I flicked it out of the window.

sally said...

I have a blog. I have reposted this on my blog. I am suggestible. I will do anything you say right now. I am tired and not in my right mind. What should I do?

Socrates Adams-Florou said...

Dear Sally,
I think you should consider moving abroad. Polaris World have some excellent prices for Spanish properties. Make sure you pay for your property, a fair price.
Best wish regard kind feelings,
Socrates

sally said...

Dear Socrates,

Thanks very much for your helpful suggestion. I am not so tired now so if I do elect to move abroad, it will not, at least, be a 'rash' decision. But I will remember to attribute the idea, to you.

Warmest best wishes,

Sally