Monday, 23 June 2008

please microwave this poem

i put a cat's paw in my mouth
and it tasted of driveways

there is an American man somewhere
probably in America, possibly on holiday

i feel nothing
i feel like a daytime TV presenter

one time i tried to colour in an apple
with a red crayon

another time i walked along a street
and went into a shop and bought something

Helen Mirren, Julie Walters,
Lesley Josephs, Sarah Waters

someone should start a pub-toilet graffiti campaign:
'George Pepard' in permanent marker, roughly 14pt. font

i listened to a band on myspace
and felt like the end of the world had come

giant typhoon in the Philippines
vs. middle-class existential hissyfit

i have read The Night Watch twice through no fault of my own
last night i said "i want to re-write The Night Watch" and kind of meant it

mysterious hopeless children
vs. gigantic man-eating sharks

next thursday i am having a paddling-pool party
"BYO booze", "one at a time please", "no socks allowed"

i am inside the Arndale Center
please don't come and find me

i want to print 'I'm sorry' on business cards
1000 copies, really nice tasteful design

i just saw In Search of a Midnight Kiss
and thought, it's no Hannah Takes the Stairs

in the future everything will be
exactly the same.

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