Wednesday, 22 October 2008
i have the same face in every photograph
Please look closely at my face. I have chosen this face carefully. I have this same face in every photograph. This face is supposed to imply myriad different aspects of my personality: power, intelligence, humour, vulnerability, versatility, sensitivity, eccentricity, a medium-large penis, the ability to love, the ability to ‘make mistakes’ and to learn from them, sexual prowess, agility, a knowledge of ‘fine wines’, time spent abroad, a mysterious past, forgiveness, all seasons of ‘The Wire’ on DVD box set, etc., etc.
There are 292 pictures of me using this face on my Facebook profile.
I once made this face next to Christian Bale at a London film premiere. Christian Bale’s face was reviewed as ‘lacklustre’ and ‘hamfisted’ in comparison to my face.
I will also make this face in real life.
I will make this face at you from across a crowded beer garden.
I will make this face as I loom over you in the dark of your bedroom, once I’ve unbuttoned your top and got you lying down in bed. I will make this face as I nudge at you with my medium-large penis, while something like Bob Marley plays in the background on your little bubble-shaped CD player (after I crouched down next to your CDs and chose something and put it on without asking).
I will make this face next to you on the Facebook photographs we both upload to announce our new relationship status.
I will make it at the pub, and it will glint and stand out from your friend’s faces like a bit of broken pint glass.
I will make it at a cat in the street and the cat will howl and run under a car.
I will make it at myself in the mirror, late at night, once we are living together, and think a series of nonsensical, disconnected things about life, death, the last series of ‘The Wire’, going to the gym, genitalia, and how I cheated on you a number of times.
Your friends are great.
I am in love with you.
Everything is okay.
One day our children will have this face.