Friday, 19 December 2008

interview #2


please guide me through your 'morning routine'.

Look at the clock on the phone. Look at the alarm clock. Sometimes the clocks differ and I need to correct them or I end up out of step for the entire day. Check and see if any dogs were rolled over and lost life during sleep, this is a fear of mine. E-mail is then checked through my phone while the dogs try to convince me through dog like ways that I need to leave the bed. Eventually I do leave the bed. All three dogs get walked around the block and are fed. Usually during this whole process I am checking blogs and rants on the web using my phone. I then drink a soda while my coffee is brewing. I cannot wait for caffeine. I need it right away. From this point each day is different and to try and summarize it from here on would not give each day's character the respect it deserves.

what is the best thing you have ever done in the morning (before 11am)?

The best thing I ever did before 11am is also one of the times I was called an "asshole" and I could not refute the claim. I know you live in England so I don't know how getting legal things done for your car over there is, but in the US when you need to go to The Department of Motor Vehicles for paper work or a new licensee your day is shot and left utterly dead; you don't even think of getting anything else done because you will spend the entire day waiting in lines while getting told you need to be in another line. Of course the lines can be avoided if you wake up at the time strippers go to sleep, which I did one day in 2001. I had two large items to get processed at the DMV: Getting a new licensee, and new plates for a van I had bought. Well I did accomplish this feet before 11am by getting to the DMV when they opened, but I also nearly started a fight before leaving. As I had gotten all that I needed in order not to get hefty fines next time I got pulled over I stopped to look at the TV that was mounted and playing in the waiting area. On the TV was a news image of a giant city building on fire, looking to be in its prep to fall down. My first reaction to such an image was the news was playing rerun footage from the Timothy McVeigh bombing in Oklahoma, which was getting lots of news time again because McVeigh had just been executed a few months prior and for some reason every news station kept doing stories about him. Without looking to see if the news actually had that Breaking News tag on it I yelled out, "Can we please change the station? No one gives a shit." A few mouths were open and directed at me in a horrific manner. Someone yelled "asshole" from behind the DMV counter so I looked at the TV again wondering why all the care, why are people more uptight this morning than any other, as well as why were two begining to walk over to me with let's fight looks. By this time the banner on the news show had changed to America Under Attack so it was all making sense then, I was an asshole.

have you ever played the online interactive game 'Second Life'?

I have not. I have seen it played a few times and it baffles me. Why would I want to play a game where the only way to have compounded fun is to spend more money? That is the issue I have in first life, my life. I prefer zombie games as they prepare my reflexes for the apocalypse and the shit could really happen.

please describe an elderly family member.

Skin like toothpaste dried up on the counter of the sink, but like it in feel not look. No one in my family has bright blue skin with sparkles in it.

how can i cure the mold on my bathroom ceiling (it keeps coming back)?

Cat piss. If you google and go through enough pages you will find cat piss cures many things, so I can only come to a conclusion that cat piss will kill mold. I had a mold problem once so I moved. Soon I'll be thirty and it won't be socially acceptable to do such hasty things for a small problem.