gmail chat about panic with Brandon Scott Gorrell

me: panic

gigantic panic

global non-translated panic

Brandon: gigantic panic

me: panic-fest

Brandon: insane global freakout

me: 1,000,000 years of panic

that sounds like a really bad band

metalcore

rapmetalcore

technorapmetalcore

Brandon: panic that sounds like a supernova explosion at point blank range for millions of years

me: miniature panic

Brandon: a subtle freak out

me: panic the size of a seed, floating in a glass of water that is also panic

a miniature nervous breakdown, the size of a coin

Brandon: a small, minute shift of panic

a panic chainsaw

me: a deflated panic

Brandon: panic mountain

gigantic panic mountain

me: panic man

the mouth of panic

panic of the legs

Brandon: panic eyeballs

an intimate panic

me: "my panic is not your panic"

"my panic will destroy your panic in miniature"

panic on canvas, 5X12, mixed media

panic on ice

the cave of panic

team panic

6" panic sub, on italian herb and cheese, with lettuce, tomato, pickles, no mayo

Brandon: panic lager

a cartoon that expresses panic with only colors and flashes

me: panic in sign-language

Brandon: a keyboard solo that represents panic

80s glam metal panic

me: panic done in fireworks

crunk panic

Brandon: panic architecture

panic waveform

a waveform that transmits feelings of panic

me: panic horse

a panic of horses

Brandon: my panic is like a soft pillow

or a giant human being crushing metal objects

panic tofu

me: cliched panic

Brandon: panic avengers

death by panic

me: the 'panic suite'

Brandon: a 2000000 page word document titled panic that has panic written repeatedly for like 2000 pages

panic hoodie

me: a 100 message long answerphone message that is just the sound of panic

Brandon: horrible technosis

a resturant menu serving only entrees titled 'panic'

me: the daughters of panic

Brandon: the panic god

the god of panic

me: low-level, uneventful panic

panic viewed from above

Brandon: sattellite imaged panic

me: the 'panic cam'

Brandon: a new line of furniture from ikea called 'the panic line'

me: photocopied panic

panic scanned in and printed out

Brandon: the birth of panic

the age of panic

me: panic island

Brandon: "panic is the new black"

me: a panic-wank

Brandon: hormonal panic

panic eros

me: 'panic-curious'

Brandon: panic as the next medium for depression

panic outburst

me: panic without the panic

the summer of panic

Brandon: a calm blue lake of panic

i winter sky of panic

me: nostalgic panic

1920's panic

panic 'behind closed doors'

Brandon: panic intensity

me: panic 'like it's 1999'

Brandon: panicky cunnilingus

me: undercover panicking

panic scandal

panic scare

panic epidemic

Brandon: panick outlaw

me: lone panic

panic in silhouette

Brandon: "the panic of our times"

me: chiseled#, manly panic

macho panic

Brandon: Panic OS

panic 2.0

me: panic 95

Brandon: panic XP

me: panic for windows

Brandon: the 'panic' setting on my space heater

me: illegal panic

Brandon: panic immigrants

me: underground panic movement

self portrait as Paul Auster

hot keyboard action

here is a video of Jean Michel Jarre playing a massive gig in Paris somewhere:



here is a video of me playing in the front room of my flat by myself:

new story online

i have a very short story online now. you can read it here. (the title was so long, they couldn't put it all in the header part. please ignore the ...'s. )

it is the story which Sara bought for the hula hoops. you can read her description of 'dealing with me' here.

more on the comma press event

i mentioned it a bit before, but i am reading at the cornerhouse (in Manchester) to promote a book of short stories. there is more information about it now on the cornerhouse website. i am described as something on there which i feel uncomfortable repeating on here, because -- either i do it non-sarcastically and sound 'full of myself' or i do it sarcastically and then sound 'faux-self-depreciating' or whatever. there is no way to repeat what they wrote on here, anyway. why am i making it into a big deal? it's nothing. it's just some 'good copy' to encourage more people to buy tickets. this is some not so good copy to also encourage people to buy tickets. (the tickets are £3.50 / £2.50 concessions.)

i got these things in the post today

you can read more about the thing on the left here. you can read more about the things on the right here.

[bonus information: if anyone reading this is from outside the UK and wants to know what hula hoops look like, watch this video of a cat eating some hula hoops, or look at this picture of a tiny child with hula hoops on its fingers.]

something i have done has maybe (98% sure) been part of something else

it's difficult, sometimes, if someone calls me on the phone for instance, to think, 'this person has actually called me because they want to speak to me.' i'm not being clear. i guess i mean: it's difficult sometimes to think that i actually exist, that the things i do have repercussions; that to other people i am an existing thing, a thing that could be sent a text message to, for instance, to see if i wanted to see the new Coen bros film. that i am a thing that people think about occasionally.

anyway, i feel good, right this second, because i just read this new short story by Brandon Scott Gorrell and he mentions how he received an email and there was a link to a British comedy in the email, and i'm about 98% sure that he's referring to me sending him this link to Peep Show, and i am now almost definitely a person that has done something that has affected another person (positively) and this action has now (i am almost 98% sure) been documented on the internet.

there are a lot of links in this post; maybe if you click all the links in the correct order something amazing will happen; probably not

here is a bit more on the short story i have sold for the packet of hula hoops. Sara Crowley says some very nice things. thank you, Sara.

Sara Crowley also writes short stories. she has a couple on pulp.net, six sentences, and other places i think.

again, this is an idea i have stolen from my friend Jenn (something that has been kindly pointed out by the bbc manchester blog people).

also, incidentally, it really has been a 'day of moustaches' today. i just checked my statcounter, and under the bit where it says what keyword searches people did to find this blog it read:

	7	31.82%	day of moustaches
	3	13.64%	six sentences dewey
	2	9.09%	sam pink
	1	4.55%	sex moustache
	1	4.55%	chris killen
	1	4.55%	new fanzine
	1	4.55%	i want a moustache kiss
	1	4.55%	brown girls with moustaches
	1	4.55%	drug addiction short stories
	1	4.55%	blogs on moustaches
	1	4.55%	brandon scott gorrell
	1	4.55%	60 sex
	1	4.55%	chris killen moustaches

Arthur Russell

i just blogged about Arthur Russell at barbed cat penis. it's very short. i just posted a song and the lyrics and a picture. i like this song. it's only about a minute long.

i 'sold' a story today

in reference to this post, i have now written and emailed a short story in exchange for a packet of hula hoops (which are a type of 'crisp' or 'potato chip').

i'm excited.

hula hoops is now scratched off the list, but i will still write a short story for any of the other things.

thanks.

J.W. Ludlow is my hero

i like these a lot. this is what canaries looked like in the 1860s. i think i want an 1860s canary. i also think i want one of these as my book cover (probably the third one down). i might ask about that.

good comment

"Cardigan buttons on daytime-paper," something sad said, quietly, once.

someone wrote this on the post below this one (the cat photo), anonymously, as a comment. i feel very proud. i think it is my favourite comment written on my blog so far. i would like to know who it was. but i don't mind never knowing, either.

i used the word 'proud' because i felt excited that someone who thought things like that would 'waste' that thought as a comment on my blog. and that someone who writes comments like that is reading my blog. anyway, i enjoyed it. i like the word cardigan (and wearing cardigans) a lot, but i also enjoy it as a thing to read, because there are points in it -- like the 'sad said' part -- that catch you out as a reader, that make you think about reading; not in a cold 'metaphysical' or no-emotion way, but like there is some kind of emotion in that comment, and it is 'slow to unfurl' and is just a person trying to convey something non-cliched. in re-reading it (for me, anyway) there is more pleasure in finding out what it means, and i really like that kind of double-enjoyment thing of studying the language itself and also simultaneously feeling a direct mild emotion (pleasure) of whatever-it-is communicated.

this probably doesn't make sense. but i don't think (i am not showing off here, honest) that i've ever met anyone as anal about 'written language' (the direct pleasure of placing words and punctuation in a certain order) as i am, and by reading that comment i felt something communicated, that someone else thinks about it as anally as i do. (it is not 'showing off' anyway, probably, to say -- in our 'current climate' -- that i am concerned with something like that. it is more likely to be thought of as something 'geeky' or 'sad'.)

but thank you, anyway, whoever it was.

(note: i maybe shouldn't be writing this. maybe this is 'reckless'. i am a bit drunk, after going out and seeing a thing where a guy from work did stand up comedy, and it was good. i had fun. then i came home and read that comment and felt excited. this is the 'context'.)

i posted this thing about five minutes ago on barbed cat penis then took it down again because i felt scared and like i was ruining their blog

so i've posted it here instead.

(the songs are by Chris Brokaw. i like him a lot. i keep listening to his album 'incredible love' at the moment.)


THREE VERSIONS OF THE SAME SONG:

My Idea
My Idea (acoustic)
My Idea (Evan Dando version)

'BONUS TRACKS':

X's for Eyes
Move
Bricks

no more humour + dedalus books petition

i have now become 'humourless'.

from this post onwards my blog will just concern itself with 'serious things'.

i don't know what yet.

so far my list looks like this:

death,
despair,
'the news',
book reviews that read like this
etc.

but i am willing to take other suggestions, too.

if you have a suggestion, please post it in the comments below.

strict warning: any 'humourous' comments will be deleted.


*


also, please click this link to sign a petition to hopefully stop dedalus books from losing their arts grant. i like their books. i own one called 'lobster' which i like. it would be sad if they couldn't publish anymore.

without you (a music video)

i went to visit my friend Chris in Sheffield yesterday. it was his birthday. this afternoon we made a song on his computer, a cover of 'Without You' by Harry Nilsson. we used 'garageband' to make it.

i've been teaching myself how to use flash to make cartoons. i made a music video for the song this evening. here it is:

stories for sale

my friend Jenn is writing short stories in exchange for things. read more about it here.

this is a good idea. i am going to rip her off. i will write short stories, too, in exchange for any of the things listed below:

massive wide screen TV
crunk-encrusted goblet
publication in granta
new Frankie Sparo album
packet of hula hoops (any except salt and vinegar flavour)

email me.

vote for Richard Milward

Richard Milward wrote a novel called Apples. it's good. you should read it. he likes Richard Brautigan a lot. i like Richard Brautigan a lot too. i met Richard Milward in Waterstone's, Deansgate, about six or seven months ago, when he came in to put up a poster in one of our windows to help him promote his novel, Apples. i helped him put up the poster. it took a while. we ended up talking about Richard Brautigan. Richard Milward has the same name as Richard Brautigan (Richard), i have the same birthday as Richard Brautigan (Jan 30th), we both have a lot in common.

anyway, please click this long sentence and try to vote for Richard Milward in this thing, the Times/South Bank Show breakthrough award; it says you need to 'sign in' or something first; i couldn't figure out how; maybe it is easy and i am just being foolish; maybe there is a temporary problem with the website; but please try anyway; try as hard as you can

intern #1

i have an intern now.

i am now also an intern.

intern club.

untitled 'supermarket nightmare' #2 competition

i just entered Duncan's write chapter 111 competition.

more people should enter the competition. there's only a few days left.

i just caught up with the untitled 'supermarket nightmare' #2, too. i don't know why i wasn't reading it for a while. i feel bad. sorry, Duncan. i think it has something to do with putting the link to it in a separate part of my blog. i don't go to it and click on it everyday, like i do with the 'people' links, because i forget. anyway, i've caught up now. it's good. i will be more consistent from now on.

news, etc.

i just posted an epic thing about Frankie Sparo on barbed cat penis. a lot of it's 'epic-ness' is due to blank space, line breaks, etc. i feel bad now cuz it takes up so much of the blog, like people will just look at that and not have enough energy to scroll down to get to the posts below it. i think i have destroyed barbed cat penis. sorry Brandon. sorry Tao.

also, if anyone in Manchester doesn't have anything to do on the 28th of February, you should come down to the Cornerhouse for the launch of Brace, a new writing anthology published by Comma Press. i have a short story in it, and am going to be reading it out there. it's not a funny short story. i don't think i've read anything 'serious' before. i don't know what i'm going to do, yet. i will have to sabotage myself somehow. i don't know. you can read a bit more about it here. (i just looked at that page. they called me a 'Manchester ingenue'. i really don't know how to feel about that.)

what i want illustrated using google image search

i want to live inside something like a matchbox


i want there to be clipart for things like existential despair


i want to have a different face


i want to have a different body to accompany my different face


i want Lorrie Moore's new novel to be over 1000 pages long


i want new ideas

short interview thing + goodreads

Brandon Scott Gorrell has written about my novel and asked me a few questions on his blog.

thank you, Brandon.

i like Brandon's blog a lot; i like this poem with pictures. "purpose is temporary relief from boredom"

i joined goodreads a while ago, but i've just started using it; updating and adding books and people and things. you should join goodreads and be my friend. i want some new book recommendations.

i'm going to the trafford center today. i feel scared.

music blog + dead fish

i am going to write things occasionally on the music blog barbed cat penis. i'm excited. i haven't posted anything yet. i'm going to write about Frankie Sparo, and other things.

my friend Socrates has a short story on six sentences. read this post, then read his story. leave him comments. if the story is commented on a lot, it gets put in a section at the side called 'most discussed' and then more people will read it and then click on the link and then read his blog.