interview with CATHERINE LACEY
please describe a thirteen year old version of yourself.
The child in question was born on April 9th, 1985. It is the late spring of 1998 and she is with her mother in a white van that will soon be irrevocably damaged. She is underweight by seven pounds and though she still does not have breasts, the bleeding has started today. A Hispanic man was in her kitchen, presumably repairing something, at the exact moment that this happened, so she didn't tell her mother until now, when they were a safe distance away from the man, whoever he was.
have you ever made up a language either by yourself or with 1 or 2 other people? if so, what were some of the words, phrases, etc.?
One time a character in a story I wrote made up a word. It was "Lopskod." Also, he made up "Dosmonetory," but for some reason gmail's spell check is registering that as a real word even though it is not in the dictionary or anywhere in Googledom, so I don't know.
what do you think the people who live next door to you are doing right now?
Stealing bowls of their roommate's granola.
please describe a 'giant elderly online fox'.
Poor Fox. Contrary to popular belief, a giant elderly online fox still hasn't figured out how to turn on the computer yet, so he's sitting in his narrow, windowless office with stacks of his students' term papers around him. His computer was a gift from his nephew about 10 years ago. It's one of those all-in-one Macs that looks like a big clear egg with blue details. There is a sticky note on the screen of the computer that explains how to turn the computer on, but whoever wrote it did so in hand writing too small to be seen by the giant elderly "online" fox. Also, and this is a point of embaressment for him, he's not a fox. He's a cross between a hare and a dog. He's a harg. It's really embarressing, so don't mention it if you see him. And while we're at it, he's not elderly either, he's only 17 years old, but he has a rare form of asbirgers syndrom that made him age really quickly. Amazingly, he only weighs 2 ounces. So cute.
what were you doing before answering these questions? what are you going to do next?
I bought a hat and put it on. A random homeless woman said to me, "You lookin good! You wearin the hell outta that hat!" I said Thank You. I am going to put the hat back on when I am done with this because I have to go feed someone's cats.