Thursday, 13 August 2009
does anyone still read this?
big congratulations to Shane Jones about his recently announced deal with Penguin + Light Boxes movie rights thing.
i blurbed Light Boxes at the start of last year.
i read this thing too by Sam Pink, yesterday. really liked it. Sam Pink makes me think of Nietzsche's maxims a bit, kind of. but a lot more fun to read.
Brandon Scottt Gorrell wrote 'small reflections' about lots of internet people, including me.
Crispin Best's blog is always really good. i haven't clicked on it, but i'm sure there is something good there. [i just clicked on it. it's good, as always.]
i am unemployed. i finished as Writing Fellow at the end of last month. i am just hanging around and typing things like 'job in manchester' into google and doing the quick crossword now. i feel scared about money. not sure where money is going to come from.
does anyone still read this? i think it has 'died'. i feel like i'm typing to myself right now, or to a 'pretend audience' or something. i feel like i am making a pretend radio show with my friend Mark. i feel scared to look at statcounter. i just looked at statcounter. okay, a few people still look at my blog (or accidentally click on it or follow a link and then immediately click away). i am averaging maybe 40 hits per day.
i don't know what happened. do i sound like a whiny little bitch if i say 'having a novel published was not fun'? (yes i do. i would think 'fuck you' if i read that two years ago while working at Waterstone's.) i guess i just mean: i have been freaking out for the last six months -- pretty much exactly since the publication date -- and have lost all confidence in my writing. i just about feel better, now that i've sort of 'disappeared' from the internet for a bit. it feels good that when i type 'the bird room+chris killen+review' into google, nothing new appears. i think if i write something again and it gets published, i won't read reviews.
i should clarify: the 'publication process' was really good: i liked talking to an editor and looking at the proofs and making changes and emailing about the cover and things. i have 'fond memories' of that period. i felt 'indestructible' or something.
i guess what i mean is 'writing a novel and then getting bad reviews was not fun'.
[update: i feel like a whining idiot.]